Many of us say we like change but change can also bring the feeling of terror, particularly if it’s unexpected or we can only imagine a bad outcome. That physical churn in the pit of your stomach, an increased heart rate, dry mouth, panic, nausea or just a feeling of complete overwhelm. These physical feelings, caused by the flood of adrenalin and cortisol, are triggered instantly by any type of change that our brain has predicted could be bad for us and anything new could be bad for us. If it has no data to be certain of a good outcome then it triggers the fight/flight response that makes us physically feel the way we do. Then we attach an emotion (story) to the physical feeling such as scared, anxious, worried, uncertain. We are mostly not conscious that this is happening because it happens so quickly. Logic is hijacked in favour of emotion and we respond emotionally rather than rationally. It’s called the amygdala hijack. If you don’t believe me then tell me how you reacted the last time you felt angry and someone told you to just ‘calm down’.
The good news? You can hack this process with these stealth-like Ninja hacks.
Part 1: Get the logical you switched back on.
Write down a current challenge you have that requires a change and think about this for each hack listed.
Hack 1. How do you physically feel?
Notice the physical sensations like the stomach knots and racing heart. This is the first indication your subconscious brain is predicting danger. Your body is being flooded with adrenalin and cortisol.
Hack 2. What is the story (emotion) you are experiencing?
Scared, anxious, worried, uncertain? These are the emotions you’ve attached to the physical feeling. This is the story your brain is creating for you about the change.
Hack 3: Remember that emotion beats logic. Every time.
If you are feeling and responding with emotion it’s hard to respond logically.
Hack 4: Calm the emotion down using the physiological sigh.
Two breaths in through the nose (it will feel weird) and one long exhale through the mouth. Repeat x4. It uses your diaphragm to hack your brain and convince it that all is well. It’s a self-soothing method and it works. Every time.
Now you are ready to apply some logical thinking
Part 2: Changing your response.
Hack 5: Don’t focus on the problem/change.
Instead do something tactile, make bread, go for a run, clear out a cupboard. Do something that will use your brain in a different way, ideally with physical movement too. It gives your subconscious brain time to think about the change in different ways which can provide fresh insight.
Hack 6: Remind yourself that your reality isn’t everyone’s reality.
Reality is just your perception of the outside world. The great news is this means you can change your reality! You can choose, to some degree, the story you tell yourself about something. That scary feeling in the pit of your stomach is no different to the excited butterfly feelings of something that you’re excited about. The only difference is the story you’ve attached to the feelings. For many things in life, you can, with practice, choose the story you want to tell.
Hack 7: Tell everyone.
Once you’ve reframed the story write it down. Now say it out loud. Next tell other people. The more you repeat a story the more it will ‘feel’ real and you will start to lean into the change rather than trying to run away from it. This is because your brain now has some ‘good’ data to suggest the change isn’t quite as bad as it originally thought. You will also start to feel like you ‘own’ the change.
Hack 8: The brain likes certainty.
This means it can trick you into sticking with the status quo even if the status quo isn’t good for you. The familiar feels safer than an unknown, even if the familiar is bad we can predict how bad it will be and know what we are dealing with. This is why we put up with bad bosses and jobs for so long rather than leaving for an unknown future.
Hack 9: Treat your doubts like difficult people.
We all know people who get in the way of the things we want to do, and we all have a way of getting past them. Treat your doubts the same way. They aren’t real, they’re just predictions the brain has made. It’s hard to imagine the unknown, but it’s really easy to imagine what might go wrong. It’s also very hard to challenge your own thinking but if you think of the doubts as difficult people you’ll soon find a way past them that reduces their impact.
Hack 10: Even change you are excited by can be scary.
This is again because it’s easy to imagine the things that could go wrong, and you are leaping into the unknown which your brain has little information about. You can hack your brain on this one by imagining that future, once the change has happened. Sense the future as much as you can, what it looks, sounds and feels like. You want to have the 3D technicolour version in your mind. Again, tell others about it. The more you can do this the more new ‘positive’ data the brain has in relation to the change which will ultimately reduce the feelings of panic, worry and anxiety because it will start to feel more familiar.
These are 10 simple hacks you can learn to do but you need to practice. Practice on small things. If you fail, don’t beat yourself up, just try again, and again. Each time you try it will get a little easier. Each step you take will reduce the (subconscious) brain induced fear. Each step is a stealth like move to trick your brain into thinking differently enabling you to maximise the opportunity and reduce the uncertainty of almost any change you are facing.
About the Author:
Dr Tammy Watchorn trained as a scientist before moving into the complex landscape of healthcare to lead change. After some slow starts she began to realise that her hard-won accreditation in the process of change leadership was meaningless: the only way to achieve success was to focus on people. By understanding those involved in change as individuals, not ‘stakeholders’, she developed a pragmatic way of making progress by stealth using ‘ninja’ moves. Her own neuro-atypical approach allows her to see things differently, to look at the whole rather than the parts, and to help others to see things differently too.
